This is the one time of year that I will plead with all, including myself, to avoid talking politics. Gloating, complaining, grieving, whining, planning a real estate investment in Greenland… Around the table, in front of the game, in the den after “a few” with your brother-in-law… or in this column. Shh.
This is a weird limbo, as we juggle commitments between the Solstice, Christmas and New Year’s – time to celebrate, to feast, to argue with family, to meet new family members, say goodbye to those no longer around the table and to take in the meaning of the season.
For all those reasons, we fest, we cheer, we have too much of too much, and we finish, exhausted but sated, sometime around the 1st of January. We often travel to far places – for family, or friends we do not ordinarily see, or simply to “get away” with our best and most loved for at least a short time.
It’s a joyous season. I think about my first-year students – heck, all my students – headed home for the first time since the hurricanes, with another semester behind them, another step toward their goal, ready for a rest.
Florida is a target for the festivities: traffic on I-95, I-75, and I-4 – always a jammed-up nightmare – is particularly awful. The airports are overflowing, flights are canceled (not because of our weather, but because the weather in a million other places has rippled its chaos into every flightpath leading to Orlando, Miami, Tampa, and Jacksonville. Our beaches, our parks (amusement, state and national), our people, our food, our music, our culture – it draws the world in non-holidays, and we’re where folks flee to when vacation time rolls in.
It can become frenzied fun for those of an animated inclination. There’s so much to do, so much to see, so many people to connect and reconnect with.
Unless you are alone – or are nearly so, or feel you are.
This is a time of the year that is painful and crushing for people who may navigate their daily lives perfectly well, but when the pressure is gigantic to “family it up,” do not have a family. Or they are missing someone from their circle, or may simply themselves be facing real challenges. They’re hurting. Illness, financial hardship, depression and anxiety all hit so much harder when all around you are filled with joy.
For many people, this time of year can be a dreaded, awful time of unmeetable expectations, impossible emotional demands and remembrances of loss. The pressure to judge and weigh the past year (especially at New Year) can be insurmountable, and for some, it is difficult to see daylight, much less victory.
This is the time of year to find our empathetic nature, I think – to reach out in meaningful ways to those who are struggling, as well as to rejoice.
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I come from a big family – five sisters and a brother (both of our parents are now gone). Growing up, it seemed we were big enough and close enough that when someone was down, there was always someone there who would step in, with a kind word or gesture or be willing to talk a bit or make a cup of tea.
For many, this has to come from the community. Kindness is a stellar commodity.
I think if we could all just be a little more aware, a shred more sensitive to folks who may have a problem during the holidays, we’ll be supporting the genuine spirit and meaning of the season. They may be at a loss for a good word, can use a pat on the arm, a bit of love. Take a moment, recognize.
There’s no direct payoff, I’m afraid; no karmic shift for being compassionate. It has to be its own reward. But there’s a verse from a holy book, that kind of fits:
“Forget not to show love unto strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Heb. 13:2)
R. Bruce Anderson is the Dr. Sarah D. and L. Kirk McKay, Jr. Endowed Chair in American History, Government, and Civics and Miller Distinguished Professor of Political Science at Florida Southern College. He is also a columnist for The Ledger and political consultant and on-air commentator for WLKF Radio in Lakeland.